Things I Found In My Handbag

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The seasons are changing and the time has come to switch handbags and replace content. It is said a girl should never reveal the contents of her handbag but I say, embrace it, for it is a veritable treasure trove. Men, look away now, if you can’t handle the truth. Here is what I discovered deep in the recesses of my H&M tote:
– A red lipstick
– A single sock (clean)
– A pair of knickers (dirty)
– A piece of chewed gum wrapped in a picture of Nigel Farage’s face
– A tissue
– 4 tampons (despite finishing my period 2 weeks ago)
– 5 Smints (loose)
– No 7 hand cream
– A hairbrush with flakes of cinnamon swirl
– Hairspray
– Dry shampoo
– A dark red lipstick
– A set of headphones entangled with a pencil, a pantyliner and a small piece of Tracker bar
– 7 bobbles
– 12 kirby grips
– Another tissue
– 3 pairs of matches bought individually due to never being able to find my lighter
– A lighter
– A slightly darker red lipstick
– 2 of my own business cards, one smudged with biro, one smudged with Dairy Milk
– 2 cashews
– A raisin
– 5 pens, 3 pencils, a highlighter and a ruler I purchased with a glee I didn’t realise I still had
– A small bit of crust from an egg & cress sandwich
– A pink lipstick
– A small notebook needed for lists, smudged with Dairy Milk
– A large notebook needed for larger, creative writings, stained with coffee
– Purse
– Another tissue
– Keys
– A two pence piece
– A ripped out picture of a monkey taking a dog for a walk
– A peseta
– Tina Fey’s Bossypants
– Neal’s yard hand cream
– A crumpled receipt of a pair of £1 flip flops from Primark
– A maroon lipstick
– Another tissue
– A plastic bag for use when shopping (never used)
– A canvas bag for use when shopping (never used)
– Garnier hand cream
– Another tissue
– Liquid eyeliner
– Kohl eyeliner
– A page ripped out of Metro for Salted caramel cake recipe
– A page ripped out of Metro for Ultimate bikini diet
– A page ripped out of Metro for 2-4-1 voucher for Byron burger
– A page ripped out of Metro about how to spice up your sex life
– A piece of cress
– A very dark red lipstick
– A photocopy of a Shakespeare speech, smudged with Dairy Milk
– Dairy Milk wrapper
– Another tissue

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